If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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