He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
They are going to name an STD after you.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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