Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
