so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I smell like Dick and happiness
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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