Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
