Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
