I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
