Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Houston, we have a blender
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
