I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
