So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
