Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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