My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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