he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
