Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
thus making me awesome and them whores
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Randomize
