Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
