I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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