I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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