I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
