to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I am mentally ready for anal.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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