I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
