Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
