Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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