I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
