am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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