Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
and she was petting her beer can
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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