Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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