You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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