shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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