It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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