Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize