Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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