the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize