so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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