Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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