There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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