i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I am naked and annoyed.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
