She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
