Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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