you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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