Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
