she woke up with a sticky ear
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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