It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
