Welp...herpes.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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