please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
