fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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