All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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