her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
