And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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