my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Randomize
