i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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