ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
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