Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you inspire me to be a worse person
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
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