it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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