Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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