If i could tip my vagina, i would.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
