i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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