why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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