there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
