i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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