you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
