I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
