so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
